These last few years have probably been my hardest. Trying to take care of my babies the best that I could but still feeling like I’m failing. Working, what felt like nonstop, still wasn’t good enough. The bills just kept rolling in. I couldn’t figure out how to make ends meet. I was working doing the motions but not really living. My family missed me because I wasn’t really there anymore, just a zombie, working for my pennies.
In all honesty I felt like life was hopeless, there was nobody who could help me. Why is life so unfair? I didn’t realize that I was doing it to myself. I was putting everyone and everything above myself, what about my happiness? If I can’t be happy how can I make sure others are? How can I truly help others if I can’t help myself?
Then came a light and it told me to do things differently. It told me that things will only be different if you make them different. Stand up for yourself, be in charge of your future. Say no if you have to. Make sure what you are doing is what you are destined to do. Don’t stand on the sidelines, be the boss of your own life.
This little light also asked me to write down what I am grateful for?
This seemed like such a daunting task. I have been feeling extremely vulnerable, with everything that has been going on in the world. I feel like I could drown at any moment because everything is so uncertain. I know in my heart though that I’m not going to drown because everything that I am grateful for surrounds me everyday!
My friends who help to keep me a float, just by saying hi or how are you doing?
My family that, no matter what, I know I can lean on and they in turn can lean on me.
My children who have also been through, what seemed like hell and back.
Everyone I have ever met who helped to teach me how to learn and grow.
The wisdom to not judge people by their appearance but only by their actions.
Without all of this I know for sure I wouldn’t have made it this far.
But the things today I am most grateful for is:
My peeps, my happiness, my new found feeling of freedom and the chance to finally show the world how brightly I can shine!